I'm having a bit of trouble with the whole concept of time not meaning anything. Time doesn't exist in the spiritual realm. But it sure seems that I don't have enough of it anymore. The days are just not long enough to get everything done. The babies take up almost every moment. So I suppose that when the time is right I will gain the extra few minutes I need to catch up on so many things, this blog included.
I will say that I'm trying to be more present in the now more often. And I've started reading "The Course on Miracles." Heavy indeed. I've been stumbling over the language a lot. This is a book that needs some studying, which would mean more time. I wonder if the three or so weeks we have it checked out from the library will be enough time?
And I'm trying so hard not to judge and finding that I judge a lot. Even the simple judgments like "he's mad at me" lead to troublesome thinking. That thinking thing again. More than one person has told me I think too much. Certainly true. But when I'm trying to decipher everything from a spiritual perspective, I can't help but think, can I? I wonder who that is? Is it the spirit me or the ego me? Thinking takes time too. I guess if I give that up there will be more time?
While this post seems to be written in some sort of code or abstract, in my defense, I have been reading Eckart Tolle's "The Power of Now," and watching the Wayne Dyer DVDS when I feed the baby. My mind is trying to take all of this profound wisdom in, and then I have to apply it to my life. Hard work indeed to be on top of every thought, live in the present now, meditate to connect to the source energy, stop judging, and fight my ego.
Oh, and take care of the house and the kids. No wonder I'm so tired and time seems to be slipping away...
