Reclaiming the Feminine
Taking back my womanhood one house project at a time
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| Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash |
When did the patriarchy decide women were incapable of so many things? In what exact year did men take the power unto themselves and subject women to generations of oppression?
That is a question I often ponder as I find ways to take back my feminine power.
Today I changed the fill valve in my toilet. It was a simple task that I ruminated over for days, wondering how much a plumber would charge me to do it? But then I’d have to worry about potential Covid-19 exposure from allowing a stranger into my house, so I was not eager to call. Plus, that whole contractors who talk down to women thing, and possibly being overcharged for simply being female. Not cool.
So I did what I’ve been doing since I no longer have a man in the house to do those handyman chores…I watched a YouTube video.
Changing a toilet fill valve is not difficult and should be up there on things for everyone to learn, like changing the tire on a car. The actual part cost me around $8.00 and took all of 20 minutes, even with my steep learning curve and trouble getting the water supply connecter nut unscrewed. (Why did the ex always overtighten everything???)
Plus, the fill valve box had directions, and detailed paper instructions were included with the part. Why did I think it was going to be so difficult for me to do such a simple thing? Perhaps because the last time dude changed the fill valve in that toilet, he made it seem like it was such an ordeal. Really?
Why do men do this? Or is it just the special kind of men I attract into my life?
As I round the corner on the second half of my life, I do finally understand how the patriarchal system has groomed us all (men and women) to maintain the status quo of men having the power, being more intelligent, and more capable than women.
Well, I say bullocks to all that nonsense!! No more. Not for me. I have wasted too much time listening to what I can’t do and feeling incapable.
Now I am learning. In this age of technology, there is absolutely no reason why I can’t do the research and watch the videos and give it a try before I call in the experts. Maybe I won’t have to call anyone and I can do it myself.
I am aware that a lot of my self-talk is steeped in patriarchal nonsense, and my fear is based on the lies I was taught by a society hellbent on keeping men in the power seat.
So today I changed the toilet fill valve.
Last month I fixed a ceiling that was damaged by a roof leak last summer. I procrastinated that repair for months and finally called a contractor for an estimate. Not only did he come into my house and wear his mask half-assed, but he wanted to charge me 1400$ for the job, inflating the cost of materials (which I happen to know the price of), and explaining how difficult it would be because of the 10 foot ceiling height. Hogwash.
I fixed the ceiling with drywall scraps I found in my basement from other jobs. I stood on a ladder. It took me a solid week of 8 hour days to get the ceiling fixed, the entire 200 square foot room walls repaired, everything textured, primed, and painted. The materials cost came in at about $200.
Go me.
Sure, my back hurt like a mother every day, and my hands are still recovering, but I did it. I didn’t need a team of men, although to be honest, my two teenage kids helped prime and paint. We did it. We were and are perfectly capable.
Last week I installed new outlets and a light switch in the same room. I overcame my fear, turned off the power, and just did it.
I am celebrating my accomplishments now.
Today I changed the fill valve on my toilet, and although it was not a big thing, it was huge, absolutely f’n enormous! I am well on my way to becoming an empowered woman.
© 2020 K. A. Bennett. All rights reserved.
Thank you for reading.
Kerry Bennett is a Creative Gen X, divorced, single mom, who holds an MA in Cultural Resource Management and a BA in anthropology. She blogs at K’s Bloomin’ Art Garden and her artwork can be found at Kerry A. Bennett Fine Art.
