Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Still learning

I spend my days hungry for more spiritual information. I can't seem to get enough. I want to reconnect with my inner self and get my life on track. Today on Oprah the subject was just that...spirituality...the law of attraction, and several authors of inspiring books. There were several women in the audience who had used some of the methods described to get what they wanted and to turn the direction of their lives around. Fantastic. That's what I'm looking for in my life.

I know that I should meditate regularly. I used to, before the current relationship, and perhaps that was why my life had a more spiritual tone. I tried to meditate today while my baby girl napped. It was good, relaxing, but I can't ever seem to turn off my thoughts or the pictures in my head. And today, the baby boy was bouncing around inside of my belly like a football player. Kind of hard to clear the mind.

I have hope. I'm thinking of trying a vision board, in which you put up images or ideas about the things you want in your life. I guess the focus becomes more directed and somehow through that connection to spirit, to your inner self, and to the Universe, you can manifest these things into your life. But there are obstacles, such as the unfinished business like forgiving those who have hurt you, or trusting in the power of yourself and your connection to everything. It was mentioned on Oprah and in the Dr. Wayne Dyer book I am currently reading Manifesting Your Destiny that the people you have the biggest conflicts with in your life are also your biggest teachers. That stopped me in my tracks. Rather than try to run from the negative relationships like I usually do, I have to stop and reconsider. What do I need to learn here? Why do I keep going round and round and ending up back in the same place?

If I could remove those obstacles then perhaps I would be that much closer to finding my own peace and being able to create a meaningful life. Ironically I have been having dreams of obstacle courses for the past few months. I guess my spirit is speaking to me. Cool. Welcome back.