LLama babies and big plans

I'm getting eager to get my llama babies and bring them home. Dark Vador and Turbo Booster are the names they were given. Sweet boys. But with Christmas around the corner and R spending every cent we had on fencing for the llama and goat pasture, I fear there's nothing left to make a payment on my llama babies this week. That stresses me out a bit. It'll work out.

Been reading about prickly pear cactus, and how to make jams and jellies. Sounds like a new adventure just waiting to happen. We have our share of the little cacti growing wild around the property. I guess the fruits are to be harvested in September or so, so I'll have to wait a while, but I'll keep my eyes open for the little fruits growing on top of the paddle shaped cacti out in the fields. Exciting.

We have plans to build an earth bermed root cellar to store our vegies in when we have an abundance. I hope that is next year. And plans to build a small greenhouse out of the glass doors and windows we found cheap on Craig's List. R is getting some vacation time next week and maybe we can work on some of these things. We also got some trees in the mail from the Arbor Foundation and I was hoping to line the driveway with them. Add a little color and visual interest to our desert dry land. If we could come up with a system to redirect the water from our roof gutters to the new trees, we'd be all set.

So much to do, even in the cold time of the year. But, I'm happy to report the days are in the upper 40's, low 50's again. Now, that's more like it.

The sun shines again

It's finally warming up into the 40's again. Feels like a heat wave compared to the frigid cold we were having. The goats are spending their nights back outside in their own little shelter.

Spent the weekend delivering Christmas presents to friends and family. I always make tins full of fudge and cookies to give out for the holidays. It's great fun and I think everyone should have fudge for Christmas. It's one of the things I can give when money is tight.

Still dreaming of big old farmhouses, but now I'm thinking of New Mexico landscapes. Do the two go together? The lots are still for sale next to our property here, and I wonder about buying one or more to add to our homestead. We should research what that would take. So many dreams, so little money.

My darling teenage girl is thinking about going into the Job Corps. Montana. So far away. I think it may be a positive step for her, if she can get in. A planned out future and goals to work for, so when she finishes she will be successful and self-sufficient, and possibly happy. It may turn into a very good thing and a wonderful opportunity.

And I am trying so hard to get back into an exercise routine. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Today was a good day and I did my Wii yoga and strength training and ran for twenty minutes, which is about four miles in Wii distance. Not bad. I sure feel better both physically and emotionally when I exercise. I also am trying to write in my journal on a more frequent basis, and although I'm not writing anything significant or particularly artistic, at least I am writing again. Perhaps one day I will begin to write poetry again.

I lost a friend a while back and that weighs heavy on my heart sometimes. He was a phenominal poet, an artist, a kind soul, a colleague in the local art cause, and a beautiful person. He took his own life and I feel a lot of pain over that. He was one of the few in my city who gave local, unknown artists shows and he helped me raise funds and have an art show when I was publishing my local art magazine. Overall, he was a good guy and I will miss him horribly. I'm sorry he decided to leave, but I hope things are better for him wherever he has gone.

Mostly I still just try to get through each day, wondering how to stay present in times that are so tough, both financially and emotionally. One second at a time.

Snow, snow and more snow

It's still snowing. I think it's been three days now. I shovel and put on my big old mud boots from Taos days and go out to feed the chickens and the goat babies. It's freezing too. Nights down in the single digits. We put the goats in the big chicken coop with the chickens. I thought it was just too cold. They all seem to be getting along fine.

The goats come to the gate when I call "Here goat babies." It's so wonderful. They are the cutest.

Made a meager payment on my llama babies. I wish I could pay them off and bring them home, but we still have to put up a fence for them and build their barn. In due time.

The sun came out today and warmed up the house, but when I stepped outside it was still so bitter cold. But it's melting, slowly, and that makes me feel good. The path I shoveled on the patio is now dry and clean. I miss my 50 degree winter days. So do the little dogs. Poor things. Even with their coats on, they freeze in a matter of minutes and come limping to the door. They need little tiny shoes. I wonder if they'd wear them?

With this weather, there is not much progress on the goat barn or the fence either.

Snow in Southern Colorado

It's cold and snowing here in my normally warm region. The moisture is much needed, but I don't care for the cold. Me and my little chihuahuas are desert rats at heart and prefer to bask in the warm sunshine whenever possible.

I've been following a blog about a young woman trying to create her own homestead in the northeast. http://coldantlerfarm.blogspot.com/ She wrote a wonderful book called "Made From Scratch" and periodically writes for Mother Earth News. She is having a hard time right now and my heart is with her. She is an inspiration to me as a writer and as a fellow homesteader and I wish her well. I understand how hard things can be when you are renting, and sometimes even when you own property.

I think things are tough for so many people right now, which is why we decided to go ahead and make our move to the country. Even if the property is not ideal, it is doable for a while and maybe it's all we can ever have. I can be okay with that. I think about how to turn our double wide into a sustainable house, adding solar panels and changing the roof line a tiny bit to allow for a clear story to bring warmth into the north side of the house. It really is a nice home and one entire side (70 feet) is south facing, which means when the sun shines, the furnace rarely comes on. Unfortunately we can't leave all of the rooms open because the little ones would be into everything, so the rooms on the north are considerably colder than the rest of the house, well, about five degrees. It's okay, we deal with it fine, but I wonder about putting cement bricks along the north wall, essentially residing the house to give it thermal mass. I'd like to put a sun room and studio on the south side with tile floors to soak up the warmth. Anything is possible, but everything takes money, which is in short supply these days. So we improvise.

I put an add on Craig's List asking for old, discarded whole tires so we can build a retaining wall along the front driveway of the house. Those are easy, lots of people have tires to get rid of. I'm still looking for fencing. Field fence would be great, enough to fence our two and a half acres would be divine, but I fear fence is in high demand and we will probably have to buy it out of pocket at retail price. Expensive, and I'm not sure where that money is going to come from, but I have to keep my goats and llamas safe. They are our real investment right now.

I have faith that it will all work out. The money will show up from somewhere. We will get through Christmas the best we can and the new year will be better. This is the life I've been dreaming about for so many years and I am determined to make it work.

Another Day

Another day on the homestead. The weather is wonderful, warm and sunny, I love southern Colorado. Nice enough to not need a jacket in the afternoon, but it sure cools down at night. I'm glad the chickens are in a warmer place. The big coop is almost done now. R put up the last of the outside walls and cut a door. He's working on their nesting shelves and roosts. Soon, little ladies, soon. I have lots of people asking for eggs, but not enough to sell. We have to get more chickens. Keeping my eyes open on Craig's List for layers.

The goats are doing well. They beg for hay like dogs, the little brown Nubian standing up with two legs resting on the fence. I worry that they will figure out that their temporary pen is not really strong enough to hold them. But for now they seem content, spending their days munching on the weeds and lying in the warm sunshine. They are still so cute.

Our family therapist came for her weekly visit (much needed due to the circumstances of life with an unhappy teenage girl) and we talked animals when the session was over. She wants to learn more about goats and milk and making cheese. She may have a horse trailer I can borrow to go get my llamas. Yippee! No more livestock in the minivan. I'm growing more and more fond of her.

I have been reading and reading about llamas and goats. Mostly about fiber. Excited to be thinking artistically again. I think I can make felt without too much hassle and I can use that to make some wonderful things, like toys for the little ones, and blankets for me. I'm so eager to begin. But first, a pen and barn for them and of course I have to pay them off. I can't wait to have the cute little guys join our growing homestead.

And we work on the soil. Always. R picks up leaves from around town and pulls cardboard out of the recycle bins so we can sheet mulch some of the areas we hope to plant next year. I thought there'd be more snow by now, but I guess the season is still young. Our soil here is like dust, no organic material at all. The cactus like it. I'm hoping the goats will like the cactus, especially the awful chollo that dots our small piece of land.

I'm looking for an old, cheap travel trailer with working plumbing and electricity. I thought it'd be a perfect little art studio, out in the few trees we have. Our views of the mountains are phenomenal. We've got the front range and Pikes Peak to the north and my favorite, the Wet mountains to the south. I've been thinking of trying the watercolors again. Not too much mess there.

There is hope still for this mom who'd like to get back to painting. But in the meantime, I am so in love with my animals, and busy with my children, it's not all bad. I dream of the future...that's not living in the NOW...but wouldn't it be nice if...