A friend of mine stopped by today with her three little children. They played with Babygirl in the back yard. It was great fun seeing them all. I wish I had more time to go and visit my friends. I've been thinking a lot about old friends lately.
My oldest girl asked for some baby pictures of herself last week and when I dug those out it, only seemed natural to update the baby books and photos. What a nightmare. In the beginning of my life as an adult, I thought I would stay on top of it and label all of my photos right away with names, dates, events, etc. and that way, many years after I die, when someone comes across a box of old pictures, they might be able to figure out the history of my family. That which I know. My part. I still have old photos of relatives I don't know, people I can't recognize. It won't be that way for my children and their children. Or so I thought. When did time get away from me? That stack of photos that was waiting to be labeled became two or three stacks, a whole shoe box full of snapshots, and I have spent my free time in the last week (I know, I should be painting) trying to remember, trying to figure out how old my girls were in many pictures, not recalling the dates. I have lost a whole year. I can't for the life of me recall 1999. Are there any photos from this time frame? How can I know? My children are changing less and less every year. Which year is which? It's out of control. But, I won't give up. I refuse to give up. I want to redo my albums in a more orderly fashion. I want to tell my story.
But what parts of my story are relevant? Does it matter what friends I had in grade school? The skater boys downtown in 1987? What about snapshots of cars I thought were cool? And the pets? How about my toys? Those were favorite subjects for many rolls of film. Should I just include family members? So, I don't know for sure. I've eliminated most of the pet pictures, nearly all of the toy portraits, most of the old boyfriends, and repetitive scenery shots of the mountains. I kept anything that gave me good memories, even tucking some extra pictures behind the ones I chose for the album. I tried to keep at least one of each important man in my life. Some I wish I had more of.
So, as I relabel the mislabeled Christmas pictures and re-travel the well-worn path down memory lane (I live in the past, and often the future too. I'm working on that whole now thing.), I'm trying to put my life in perspective. I know my children grew up too fast, and I couldn't grow up fast enough (although I grew out quite rapidly), and I find I don't hate my sister quite so much now.
What pictures do I keep? The ones that mean something and the ones that show the history of my time. The ones with the people and the places that I love.
Oh, and, I'm still searching for 1999.
