Haven't been motivated to do much of anything lately. I have been dreaming of bigger houses and searching the net for possibilities. Still a dream.
Went to the doctor today. Go back in two weeks for a checkup and another ultrasound. They are still concerned about the size of the baby. I know he seems to have gotten larger in the last week or so. I'm feeling it. I think he's camped out on some major organs now. And I sure am tired.
Baby girl is not taking consistent naps, and when she goes to bed at night, I want to go to bed too. I am trying to train her to nap in her pack and play, hoping I can gain some free time.
No new work on the basement, unfortunately. I think about working on the kitchen table, pretending I could have a makeshift art table, a place to create, but then I wonder what I will create? Used to be I'd just begin and the subject would come. Have I lost total contact with my muse, afraid to begin anything because of interruptions? I think I better get used to interruptions if I ever plan on working on my art again.
Did get that vision board up on the wall, and so far it remains blank. What do I want? What does a completed studio look like? I need to pull it together...
Friday, February 15, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Adventures and dreams
Had a most wonderful adventure Saturday. Took the happy bus and the family to visit my Aunt in a little town about 45minutes away. She bought this property a few months back that has a cute little cottage and an enormous greenhouse. The yard has many grape arbors and a pond with a fountain. But the greenhouse is the most interesting part of the property. It has a kitchen and a bathroom, so of course she is staying there with her two little dogs. Her son is living in the cottage. The plants are thriving. So far she has an abundance of houseplants, but plans on starting vegies and flowers soon. It was great. The atmosphere was fabulous...warm, natural, cozy. It reminded me a great deal of the Earthships in Taos and the few others I have visited.
I have wanted to build an Earthship for many years because of the atmosphere, but also because they are self-sufficient houses, off the grid, with water collection systems, solar, and a greenhouse across the front of the house. It is a dream. Lately we are considering a manufactured home on some acreage. I'm afraid, like most of the projects here at home, R would never be dedicated enough to work on an Earthship. A manufactured home is finished when it arrives, or mostly. The best part is that it would be one level (I'm so tired of the narrow steep stairs to the second floor of our old Victorian) and cheaper than our current house.
Another option we have been tossing around is moving to another city a little south of where we are. The cost of living is lower and there is a development just outside of town that still has empty lots, which would work for a manufactured home. There are also finished homes that are selling for significantly less than anything in our town. If we could sell our house in the current market, that might work. We could get a bigger, newer, ranch style house for much less, which would help our finances considerably.
We need a bigger house now. I'm still trying to figure out where to put all of the children with the new baby coming. And forget about studio space in this house. Although, ironically I suggested hiring someone to finish the basement room and R spent a whole day working on it. It's getting closer to being done, little by little. I've been waiting two years. It was supposed to be done before the baby came...the first baby girl. Maybe for the second baby.
I dream of studios and Earthships and not having neighbors so close. I dream of greenhouses (but not to live in) and rose gardens and room to roam. Maybe there are more adventures to be had. At least there are some new dreams now.
I have wanted to build an Earthship for many years because of the atmosphere, but also because they are self-sufficient houses, off the grid, with water collection systems, solar, and a greenhouse across the front of the house. It is a dream. Lately we are considering a manufactured home on some acreage. I'm afraid, like most of the projects here at home, R would never be dedicated enough to work on an Earthship. A manufactured home is finished when it arrives, or mostly. The best part is that it would be one level (I'm so tired of the narrow steep stairs to the second floor of our old Victorian) and cheaper than our current house.
Another option we have been tossing around is moving to another city a little south of where we are. The cost of living is lower and there is a development just outside of town that still has empty lots, which would work for a manufactured home. There are also finished homes that are selling for significantly less than anything in our town. If we could sell our house in the current market, that might work. We could get a bigger, newer, ranch style house for much less, which would help our finances considerably.
We need a bigger house now. I'm still trying to figure out where to put all of the children with the new baby coming. And forget about studio space in this house. Although, ironically I suggested hiring someone to finish the basement room and R spent a whole day working on it. It's getting closer to being done, little by little. I've been waiting two years. It was supposed to be done before the baby came...the first baby girl. Maybe for the second baby.
I dream of studios and Earthships and not having neighbors so close. I dream of greenhouses (but not to live in) and rose gardens and room to roam. Maybe there are more adventures to be had. At least there are some new dreams now.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Still learning
I spend my days hungry for more spiritual information. I can't seem to get enough. I want to reconnect with my inner self and get my life on track. Today on Oprah the subject was just that...spirituality...the law of attraction, and several authors of inspiring books. There were several women in the audience who had used some of the methods described to get what they wanted and to turn the direction of their lives around. Fantastic. That's what I'm looking for in my life.
I know that I should meditate regularly. I used to, before the current relationship, and perhaps that was why my life had a more spiritual tone. I tried to meditate today while my baby girl napped. It was good, relaxing, but I can't ever seem to turn off my thoughts or the pictures in my head. And today, the baby boy was bouncing around inside of my belly like a football player. Kind of hard to clear the mind.
I have hope. I'm thinking of trying a vision board, in which you put up images or ideas about the things you want in your life. I guess the focus becomes more directed and somehow through that connection to spirit, to your inner self, and to the Universe, you can manifest these things into your life. But there are obstacles, such as the unfinished business like forgiving those who have hurt you, or trusting in the power of yourself and your connection to everything. It was mentioned on Oprah and in the Dr. Wayne Dyer book I am currently reading Manifesting Your Destiny that the people you have the biggest conflicts with in your life are also your biggest teachers. That stopped me in my tracks. Rather than try to run from the negative relationships like I usually do, I have to stop and reconsider. What do I need to learn here? Why do I keep going round and round and ending up back in the same place?
If I could remove those obstacles then perhaps I would be that much closer to finding my own peace and being able to create a meaningful life. Ironically I have been having dreams of obstacle courses for the past few months. I guess my spirit is speaking to me. Cool. Welcome back.
I know that I should meditate regularly. I used to, before the current relationship, and perhaps that was why my life had a more spiritual tone. I tried to meditate today while my baby girl napped. It was good, relaxing, but I can't ever seem to turn off my thoughts or the pictures in my head. And today, the baby boy was bouncing around inside of my belly like a football player. Kind of hard to clear the mind.
I have hope. I'm thinking of trying a vision board, in which you put up images or ideas about the things you want in your life. I guess the focus becomes more directed and somehow through that connection to spirit, to your inner self, and to the Universe, you can manifest these things into your life. But there are obstacles, such as the unfinished business like forgiving those who have hurt you, or trusting in the power of yourself and your connection to everything. It was mentioned on Oprah and in the Dr. Wayne Dyer book I am currently reading Manifesting Your Destiny that the people you have the biggest conflicts with in your life are also your biggest teachers. That stopped me in my tracks. Rather than try to run from the negative relationships like I usually do, I have to stop and reconsider. What do I need to learn here? Why do I keep going round and round and ending up back in the same place?
If I could remove those obstacles then perhaps I would be that much closer to finding my own peace and being able to create a meaningful life. Ironically I have been having dreams of obstacle courses for the past few months. I guess my spirit is speaking to me. Cool. Welcome back.
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