The sun shines again

It's finally warming up into the 40's again. Feels like a heat wave compared to the frigid cold we were having. The goats are spending their nights back outside in their own little shelter.

Spent the weekend delivering Christmas presents to friends and family. I always make tins full of fudge and cookies to give out for the holidays. It's great fun and I think everyone should have fudge for Christmas. It's one of the things I can give when money is tight.

Still dreaming of big old farmhouses, but now I'm thinking of New Mexico landscapes. Do the two go together? The lots are still for sale next to our property here, and I wonder about buying one or more to add to our homestead. We should research what that would take. So many dreams, so little money.

My darling teenage girl is thinking about going into the Job Corps. Montana. So far away. I think it may be a positive step for her, if she can get in. A planned out future and goals to work for, so when she finishes she will be successful and self-sufficient, and possibly happy. It may turn into a very good thing and a wonderful opportunity.

And I am trying so hard to get back into an exercise routine. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Today was a good day and I did my Wii yoga and strength training and ran for twenty minutes, which is about four miles in Wii distance. Not bad. I sure feel better both physically and emotionally when I exercise. I also am trying to write in my journal on a more frequent basis, and although I'm not writing anything significant or particularly artistic, at least I am writing again. Perhaps one day I will begin to write poetry again.

I lost a friend a while back and that weighs heavy on my heart sometimes. He was a phenominal poet, an artist, a kind soul, a colleague in the local art cause, and a beautiful person. He took his own life and I feel a lot of pain over that. He was one of the few in my city who gave local, unknown artists shows and he helped me raise funds and have an art show when I was publishing my local art magazine. Overall, he was a good guy and I will miss him horribly. I'm sorry he decided to leave, but I hope things are better for him wherever he has gone.

Mostly I still just try to get through each day, wondering how to stay present in times that are so tough, both financially and emotionally. One second at a time.

Snow, snow and more snow

It's still snowing. I think it's been three days now. I shovel and put on my big old mud boots from Taos days and go out to feed the chickens and the goat babies. It's freezing too. Nights down in the single digits. We put the goats in the big chicken coop with the chickens. I thought it was just too cold. They all seem to be getting along fine.

The goats come to the gate when I call "Here goat babies." It's so wonderful. They are the cutest.

Made a meager payment on my llama babies. I wish I could pay them off and bring them home, but we still have to put up a fence for them and build their barn. In due time.

The sun came out today and warmed up the house, but when I stepped outside it was still so bitter cold. But it's melting, slowly, and that makes me feel good. The path I shoveled on the patio is now dry and clean. I miss my 50 degree winter days. So do the little dogs. Poor things. Even with their coats on, they freeze in a matter of minutes and come limping to the door. They need little tiny shoes. I wonder if they'd wear them?

With this weather, there is not much progress on the goat barn or the fence either.

Snow in Southern Colorado

It's cold and snowing here in my normally warm region. The moisture is much needed, but I don't care for the cold. Me and my little chihuahuas are desert rats at heart and prefer to bask in the warm sunshine whenever possible.

I've been following a blog about a young woman trying to create her own homestead in the northeast. http://coldantlerfarm.blogspot.com/ She wrote a wonderful book called "Made From Scratch" and periodically writes for Mother Earth News. She is having a hard time right now and my heart is with her. She is an inspiration to me as a writer and as a fellow homesteader and I wish her well. I understand how hard things can be when you are renting, and sometimes even when you own property.

I think things are tough for so many people right now, which is why we decided to go ahead and make our move to the country. Even if the property is not ideal, it is doable for a while and maybe it's all we can ever have. I can be okay with that. I think about how to turn our double wide into a sustainable house, adding solar panels and changing the roof line a tiny bit to allow for a clear story to bring warmth into the north side of the house. It really is a nice home and one entire side (70 feet) is south facing, which means when the sun shines, the furnace rarely comes on. Unfortunately we can't leave all of the rooms open because the little ones would be into everything, so the rooms on the north are considerably colder than the rest of the house, well, about five degrees. It's okay, we deal with it fine, but I wonder about putting cement bricks along the north wall, essentially residing the house to give it thermal mass. I'd like to put a sun room and studio on the south side with tile floors to soak up the warmth. Anything is possible, but everything takes money, which is in short supply these days. So we improvise.

I put an add on Craig's List asking for old, discarded whole tires so we can build a retaining wall along the front driveway of the house. Those are easy, lots of people have tires to get rid of. I'm still looking for fencing. Field fence would be great, enough to fence our two and a half acres would be divine, but I fear fence is in high demand and we will probably have to buy it out of pocket at retail price. Expensive, and I'm not sure where that money is going to come from, but I have to keep my goats and llamas safe. They are our real investment right now.

I have faith that it will all work out. The money will show up from somewhere. We will get through Christmas the best we can and the new year will be better. This is the life I've been dreaming about for so many years and I am determined to make it work.